Because sometimes the Tuesday 10 goes to XI.
Today’s Tuesday XI puts together a squad of our favorite famous fathers. The squad lines up in a rather conservative, somewhat cantankerous deep 3-5-2.
GK – Darth Vader – Anyone whose most famous line is an admission of paternity qualifies for this team. A real Force between the sticks.
CB – Ward Cleaver — Like the best fathers, our central defender trio should be made up of strong, reliable, consistent performers.
SW – Atticus Finch — And it doesn’t hurt if they’re occasionally capable of some real hero moments.
CB – Mike Brady — Gets to be our captain, since he has plenty of experience marshalling nine other performers toward a common goal (we’re counting Cousin Oliver).
LWB – King Lear — Maybe he’s not mobile enough anymore, but as we established before, all left backs are crazy.
RWB – Mufasa — As a king and a wingback, he understands that offense and defense exist together in a delicate balance, and that all the players on the pitch are interconnected. Now he just needs a nifty catchphrase for it all.
CM – Saturn — Like Mike Tyson, he’s going to eat your children. Or his children. Either way, not someone you want to line up across from.
CM — Father Time – Never late in the challenge, and hasn’t played a mistimed pass in his long career.
AM – Father Christmas — Makes a habit of gifting goals to the forwards in front of him.
CF – Big Boss — We left Solid Snake out of the Video Game XI two weeks ago, so we’ll put his father — the protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 3, antagonist of Metal Gears 1 and 2, and father of both the series’ hero and two of its villains — in as a forward, where the excessive firepower he and his brood are known for can be put to use.
CF – Wilt Chamberlain — If we assume even an eighth of the ‘20,000 women in his lifetime’ thing, there have got to be more than a few Little Dippers running around. I mean, his personal life has its own Wikipedia page, for crying out loud. At any rate, he’s a hyper-athletic seven-footer who can score like nobody else’s business (in more ways than one).