Recent Call-ups Edition
In honor of Fabian Johnson’s and Joe Corona’s call-ups to the U.S. and Mexico, we present to you 10 other players with ties the Americans could have exploited to get them in the red, white and blue.
1. Pedro – Is probably not the same person as Pedro Rodriguez, 57, of Midland, Texas, but how is FIFA supposed to know that?
2. Bastian Schweinsteiger – Father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate was American.
3. Wayne Bridge – If anyone should be given the right to go all Benedict Arnold on his home country, it’s this guy.
4. Alessandro Del Piero – Is almost certainly actually Bruce Springsteen.
5. Cristiano Ronaldo – Two words: Anchor baby.
6. Andy Carroll – Once, after a long night on the town, accidentally pledged allegiance to the U.S. flag.
7. Martin Skrtel – Has secretly always wanted to be an American football player. Hopefully he won’t notice the difference.
9. Samir Nasri – Have you ever seen his birth certificate? Then how do you know he wasn’t born in the United States?
10. Giuseppe Rossi – Does anyone else feel that if he’d just been named Sam or Joe or David he’d have stuck with the USA? With a name like Giuseppe, it’s not really much of a choice.