Oh, What a Tangled Web…

A (Recent) Day of Mario Balotelli’s Internet History

4:00 p.m. All-Recipes.com Search // “Mario want omelette.”
4:05 p.m. WebMD Search // “Mario want know how to heal burn on face and groin.”
4:06 p.m. Google // “Mario want cool haircut with a firework somehow involved.”
4:07 p.m. Google // “Mario want know how to play Super Mario.”
4:10 p.m. Youtube Search // “Mario want new cool backheel trick.”
4:11 p.m. Dr. Phil.com Search // “Mario want to fix relationship with gaffer.”
4:45 p.m. Youtube Search // “Mario want less difficult new cool backheel trick.”
6:00 p.m. The Guardian // Mario Balotelli becomes Manchester’s ambassador for firework safety.
6:03 p.m. WordReference // “ambassador” in Italian; “safety” in Italian.
9:00 p.m. Football Ramble // Even funnier Mario Balotelli shirt ideas.
9:30 p.m. Google Images // Mario Balotelli Sexy.
10:19 p.m. Google Search // “Mario want know is Mario sexier than David Beckham.”
10:21 p.m. Ask.com // How to be the consummate Christmas Party host.
10:22 p.m. Lidl.com // Deep, deep discounts in booze THIS WEEKEND ONLY.
10:25 p.m. Netflix // Elf
12:00 a.m. PartyCity.com // Elf costumes.
12:01 a.m. Youtube // Mario Balotelli Tribute
12:08 a.m. GQ // How to dress yourself without looking like an idiot.
12:09 a.m. Guardian // Rumor Mill: Balotelli in Swap Deal for De Rossi?
12:10 a.m. Wikipedia // Daniele De Rossi
12:11 a.m. Google // “Mario want know is Mario Balotelli better than Daniele De Rossi.”
12:11 a.m. Google // “Mario want know is Mario Balotelli better looking than Daniele De Rossi.”
12:12 a.m. Zonal Marking // What Exactly Does a Central Midfielder Do, Tactically?
3:24 a.m. Google Maps // Directions to James Milner’s Apartment
4:01 a.m. Twitter // “Mario want know is rude to honk horn repeatedly until James Milner wakes up.”

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2 Responses to Oh, What a Tangled Web…

  1. Per says:

    “12:09 a.m. Guardian // Rumor Mill: Balotelli in Swap Deal for De Rossi?
    12:10 a.m. Wikipedia // Daniele De Rossi”

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