The Tuesday XI

We Go To 11 Edition

In honor of Sunday’s Grammy Awards, we’ve assembled a side of music legends, packed into an Ajax-style 3-4-3. Our selections may skew older, but that’s just because that’s when the real music was made (and our – or at least my – musical knowledge actually ends the year I was born).

GK – Ringo Starr – Ringo made a career out of being in the right place at the right time, by being a pretty good available drummer just as three musical geniuses happened to need one. He gets by with a little help from his friends here too.

LCB – Isaac Hayes – No matter the song or sport, he’s still one bad mother shutyomouth.

Don't believe what you might read on the injury report. He feels good.

SW– James Brown – The hardest working man in show business brings that tremendous effort to the pitch, and always keeps things cool in the back.

RCB – Johnny Cash – The rock of our defense. He may not be fast, but he makes up for it in sheer badassery.

CDM – Keith Moon – Our Tasmanian devil of a defensive midfielder is all violence and movement, making life a nightmare for every opposing midfielder, not just the playmaker.

LCM – Joe Strummer – This genre-bending punk rocker rules the center because he always knows whether he Should to Stay in his position or Go rampaging forward. That means he can both put the Clampdown on the opponent and make sure our Magnificent front Seven don’t Train in Vain.

RCM – Johnny Ramone – What our midfield lacks in technical virtuosity, they offset with their raw energy. Johnny Ramone is the metronome that keeps the whole thing going, with his movement in tight spaces and rapid-fire passing driving the ball forward.

CAM – Freddie Mercury – Incredible range and a fantastic feel for his craft. Plus, he and our center forward bring out the best in each other.

LW – Chuck Berry – Not flashy, at least not by today’s standards, but still fast, creative and devastatingly effective, as long as he’s not holding out for more money.

CF – David Bowie – His versatility makes him the perfect frontman for this ensemble. He can play the speedy poacher, the line-leading target man, or the deep-lying playmaker with equal ability, disappearing into each role as if it was the one he’s always played.

Leaving defenders in a cloud of purple haze since 1964

RW – Jimi Hendrix – Hendrix fits the role of jinking right winger because he’s the music world’s Garrincha (Most people would probably say that Garrincha was soccer’s Hendrix, but we’re soccer writers here, and we get to structure the analogy the way we want.). Almost no one would argue that Garrincha was the greatest player the world has ever seen, but the consensus seems to be that he was the absolute best at that one particular aspect of the game he focused most on: dribbling. Same goes with Hendrix and the guitar.

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3 Responses to The Tuesday XI

  1. Alex says:

    How could you make a music legend 11 and not include Bob Marley?? If anything he’d be a CM. A calming prescence in the center.

  2. Jordan Beck says:

    I like the revamped lineup, with two exceptions:

    1) Jimi Hendrix should be on the left side. One of the things setting him apart was the fact that he was left-handed and would play upside down, often without reversing the strings on his Strat. For a strong, fast-paced backup on the left side, you need to have Dick Dale sitting on the bench behind him.

    2) Chuck Berry’s footwork is key, but frankly I think his lack of blazing speed, somewhat clunky delivery and potential for locker room poison is enough to cost him a starting spot. I would definitely sign Angus Young to be his replacement: he’s faster and more technically proficient, while taking all of his footwork directly from Berry.

  3. Pingback: Tuesday XI Bracketology (Friday?) | The Other 87

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