Piano Men Edition
We’re stepping back into the music world in honor of last week’s Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductions (We’re pro-Beastie Boy.). Except instead of putting together an team of musicians, we’re lining up songs, specifically famous title characters from songs, into a harmonious XI.
GK – Macho Man – Uses his inflated ego, and pectoral muscles, to deflect goal-bound shots.
LB – Minnie the Moocher – Bought a diamond car with some platinum wheels with her first top-flight paycheck.
CB – Bad Bad Leroy Brown – Something a throwback to the old-timey center-halves of yesteryear. If the baddest man in the whole damn town doesn’t get the ball, he’s going to be sure to get the man.
CB – Superfreak – Definitely not the kind of player you’d take home to mother. TheYouTube highlight reel is topped only by the outlandish off-the-field antics. Imagine if you crossed Marvell Wynne with Mario Balotelli.
RB – Eleanor Rigby – Picks up the ball, on the flanks, in the space, where the winger has been. Crosses like a dream.
DM – Iron Man – Has really raised his game in the center since he was turned to steel in the great magnetic field.
CM – Baba O’Riley – Fights for his meals out there in the field, and always gets his back into his motoring up and down from box-to-box.
AM – Mack the Knife – Someone’s sneaking behind the defense, ghosting late onto crosses or to collect drop-offs from our center forwards. Could that someone, perhaps, perchance, be Mack the Knife?
LW– Jumping Jack Flash – Hits defenses like a cross-fire hurricane down the left side.
CF – Man in Black – It says it right there in the song, “Up front there oughta be a man in black.” You want to argue with a guy who only dresses in all black?
RW – Voodoo Child – Provides craftiness and guile up top to balance the speed of Jumping Jack Flash and the power of the Man in Black. He’ll move mountains to get our side a goal, or at least chop them down with the edge of his hand.