This week’s Tuesday XI recognizes that there are far more important things to discuss than today’s U.S. presidential election: This Friday’s impending stateside release of Skyfall, the 23rd James Bond movie. Bond films are big deals here at our site, mostly because we’re always looking for an excuse to wear our tuxedos to the movie theater. In honor of the movie, we’ve put together a squad made up of some of bond’s most memorable villains.
GK – Auric Goldfinger – Goldfinger knows the value of a clean sheet: his master plan, the irradiation of Fort Knox’s gold supply with a nuclear bomb, is all about denying others their wealth to increase the value of his own.
Libero – Ernst Stavro Blofield – Prefers to scheme in the back of the action, but is nonetheless capable of launching overwhelming attacks when the occasion calls for it.
LB – Red Grant – This SPECTRE agent with a poor grasp of wine pairings has plenty of experience battling in tight quarters along the sidelines.
CB – Jaws – Despite his size, smaller opponents are still occasionally able to get the better of him in aerial battles:
CB – Oddjob – Communication can be a bit of an issue in the back since neither of our center backs ever speak, but they make up for it with their imposing statures and fearsome physicality.
RB – Max Zorin – Has molded himself into a fearsome competitor by virtue of his Nazi steroids and inexorable Christopher Walken-ness.
LCM – Xenia Onatopp – Always strong in the tackle, more than one opposing playmaker has met at an end at her powerful legs.
RCM – Le Chiffre – A cool and calculating player who’s nonetheless capable of some real Vinnie Jones-level brutality when it comes down to it.
CF – Francisco (There’s a trivia answer for you) Scaramanga – The Man with the Golden Boot never misses, needing just one chance to put his opponents down for good.